"How Not To React When Your Son Is Gay"
My heart breaks while watching this video. If you’re reading this and need support, please contact The Trevor Project. They are the leading national organization for crisis & suicide prevention - they are there to talk, 24/7 - confidential and free.
This is like a case study in homophobia. First, you have the pseudo-acceptance: The calm demeanor thinly veiling a deep-seated revulsion. It’s not a real conversation, as much as the mother would like to think it is. She’s working off a script, and she refuses to deviate from it.
Then, when pushed just a little, she betrays herself. She’s worried about how the neighborhood will think of her. After saying the Word of God trumps all, she disregards the way Jesus treated others and instead opts for selfishness. She invalidates her own argument. The word here is “hypocritical,” but that goes without saying.
Then there’s the refusal to allow him to live in the basement, and the “tough love” schtick that implies you can intimidate or scare the gay out of someone. After that, there’s the classic, “Oh, I support you, I don’t support what you do." This is a variation on the classic, "Love the sinner, hate the sin," which was never said by Jesus and has been used to justify exclusion.
Moving on, we have “I have a lot of friends that are gay.” Let’s go ahead and give the benefit of the doubt. This is the kind of thing people who don’t want to be labeled will say. They’re desperate to not have the root of their argument discovered, so they will
lie (oh, sorry, forgot about the benefit of the doubt) point to their own “friends” as if to say, “Look, what I’m saying is Biblical, true, and healthy, and I can prove it by allowing different people to interact with me.”
When the family is forced off their diligently rehearsed script, (as happens in a thing called real life), no one can handle it and the situation escalates into violence.
The video ends with the core emotion raw and verbalized: This kid is a disgrace. This family is ashamed and embarrassed. It’s not a matter of sin, choice, or ungratefulness: It’s a matter of, “ew.”
First off, I can’t imagine hearing those words from my father. That’s the kind of thing that you carry forever. I wanna hug this kid. No one deserves to hear that, ever.
Secondly, I do feel pity for the parents. These are people who have likely done many good things for their son (all while hoping he’d stop being gay, of course, but still). I’m sure the father has worked and provided for his family. And I’m sure the mother has spent many nights crying about her son. This family has dealt with a struggle that can’t be solved by reading a biology textbook or a Bible verse, because science and religion can’t change people’s hearts. Only love can do that, and these parents are fresh out. That’s a hard way to live.
Anyway, apologies for the massive wall of text and typos.
TL;DR: Love people.